birds of a feather

the great circle of life. we have all witnessed it's presence in a grand scheme or a small sense at one time or another.

i recently was residing at a beautiful home in lincoln heights los angeles called skyfarm. skyfarm has many animal residences, and i was keeping them while the family who usually tended them were away. amongst the menagerie are a few chickens. one of these chickens, cecil, got the mother bug real bad and became broody, sitting on her eggs though they were not fertilized.

one morning i received a mysterious text message from ilse, mistress of skyfarm-something about an egg stolen from the shakers, to be placed under the chicken. i will admit i was confused. turns out, meeno, ilse and their lovely children spotted a heirloom turkey egg while visiting a shaker farm, and scooped it up. they then fedex'ed it to me so that i could put it under the chicken and we would all cross our fingers and wait.

i got the package and took it to skyfarm, already serious yet giddy about the task at hand. ilse texted me instructions: "fluff the straw into a nice bed away from the door and lay her gently upon the beast. you can take the other eggs in the morning but no turkey omlettes yet. and don't forget the sacred egg sitting mantra. it must be hummed cooingly through the morning glories."

with utter stoicism, i donned gloves and boots, determined to safely deliver the egg as well as avoid the spastic advances of the resident rooster. i stole into the pen, gently removed the other eggs out from under our gal, and placed the egg, which had traveled by plane all the way from massachusetts, under her. no pressure. ok, i could now officially add 'animal husbandry' to my resume.

for the days that followed, i brought the chicken food and water, greens and watermelon, because she wouldn't move. i also had to be the asshole who took away all other eggs and made sure the turkey egg stayed.

i'll be the first to admit it: i did not think this thing would bear life. who knows if it was fertilized in the first place? then the flight over-certainly it couldn't endure such extreme pressure and temperature change. would the mama chicken stick with her duty or abandon all hope? not to mention any of the other variables involved. but we all stuck it out because we have inevitably seen how life can spring from what seems to be nothing at all.

the family returned from massachusetts and i moved on to yet another house sitting gig. the new place also had chickens, as well as two cats, two bunnies, and a puppy. the chickens and bunnies would roam free range style in the backyard while the puppy stayed in the front yard, divided by a couple of fences. the puppy, used to being run around by two kids, got restless enough to figure out he could scale the fences if he really wanted to.

i had to find this out the hard way.

picking up puppy-mangled chicken parts and putting them into a trash bag on a hot summer day is a quick way to find oneself considering vegetarianism. the thing is, the puppy didn't want to eat the chicken or anything; it just wanted to PLAY! with gruesome results.

i have to say i was very sad to lose a bird on my watch. the most i had ever lost on a housesitting gig was a fish, and even that was a bummer. i felt bad for the chicken-bad for the puppy, who i yelled at, bad for the family i'd have to break the news to. i felt responsible. i couldn't just let it go, but the fact is: nature isn't always pretty.

soon after this incident, i received a text from skyfarm: "you are now the proud godmother of a bouncing baby turkey!"

after all that traveling up in the frigid hold of a plane. after the transfer to a new poultry mom. after my amateur farm girl upkeep. after all this: life happened. the fact is: sometimes nature is pretty.

go here to see pictures of the turkey chick, mr. giles corey, and to read meeno's account of the egg situation.

826LA's Fall-Time Yuk Fest!

do you enjoy laughing, or the laughter of others?

do you want to support the future writers of america? do you want children to be happy?

do you want to be "seen" in a hollywood setting?

do i have a show for you!? (the answer is yes, i do have a show for you.)

826LA provides free drop in tutoring as well as holds workshops that actually get children excited about writing and expressing themselves creatively. proceeds from this hilarious event go to the organization. 

the lineup:

tim & eric

janeane garafolo

patton oswalt

jimmy pardo

bill burr

al madrigal

and 

bob moore, who has dogs who walk on tightropes. that alone should have you excited to come to this show.

plus other special guests

when: wednesday, sept. 10th 2008

9pm (doors at 8)

at the avalon in hollywood

1735 vine st. (between hollywood and yucca)

hollywood, ca

18 and over

click HERE for tickets.

tickets are $25-$35

VIP tickets $75 (includes gift bag!)

premium table seats are $250-$5000

can't wait to see you there. feel free to pass this along to your friends. 

i had a dream there were clouds in my coffee

anyone who knows me knows that i enjoy coffee. i recently decided i needed to cut back on the caffeine, for various reasons. especially since i began working once more as a barista in a pasadena cafe. that espresso machine calls to me, tells me to make just one more shot, til before you know it, i have consumed 7. in an hour and a half. 

in my neighborhood, known as 'virgil village', but i just tell people that it's "silverlake, los feliz-ish", there is a place that is supposed to have the best coffee in l.a. i erroneously thought it was a scooter shop, considering it's....a scooter shop. that also has coffee. i didn't know about the coffee part until i was schooled one night on the way to the smogcutter. i think my los angeles card was almost revoked. anyway. i now know that choke serves coffee. 

since i have finally moved back into my apartment, after a summer of traveling and house sitting, i decided this morning to try choke out before going to work. i was not surprised to see an acquaintance from the smogcutter exiting as i entered. it's that close (how did this place escape me?!). i was instantly in love with the place. it smelled like a mechanic's, which i like for some reason. though i do not think i will ever own a scooter, i think i might like to take one for a ride sometime. there are all kinds of mysterious parts around the place. and pinball machines. sweet. a very handsome barista on crutches made me an americano, and it was one of the most delicious things i've ever tasted. good god, what are they putting in this coffee? needless to say, i have found my new coffee spot. and for 2 bucks, you can bet that i'll be there every morning i'm not at the cafe, pulling my own espresso shots.

i am quite lucky to have so many great coffee places near me, as well as the place i work. unless i am driving around the jungle of los angeles, i don't have to visit one of the corporate giant coffee stores. why settle for one of their watery, burnt bean concoctions when i can get an espresso at intelligencia? or check out all the ironic facial hair while sipping on a latte at the downbeat? or, of course, toast the patrons i serve at the little flower cafe in pasadena after making them a (hopefully) perfect drink?

i sure picked the wrong day to quit mainlining caffeine.

the echo park paddle boat regatta!

go ahead and say it, 'cause we all thinking it: slacker.

i know i am supposed to finish my thailand adventures, and trust me, the memories live vividly in my brain and they will eventually come out of there. i have been in the midst of writing several other pieces, mostly to be performed in front of a (captive) audience. so. this is just a break from thailand travels to ask you, and anyone you may know, for money.

i will be participating in a paddle boat regatta (that means "race" to you laymen) to raise money and awareness for an organization i have the pleasure of working for, 826LA. the time travel mart in echo park is the storefront for this non-profit, where i have been volunteering since december and working since april or so. 826 provides free drop in tutoring for children ages 6-18, as well as many programs geared toward helping these kids how to express themselves creatively, mainly through writing. a lot of funding has been cut from public schools, and we all know the first programs to go-the arts. 826 provides supplemental learning for the children affected by these cuts. please check out the website 826la.org for more information and to learn how to volunteer.

how can you help me? glad you asked. go to this link and make a tax deductible donation to sponsor me. all money i raise goes straight to 826LA, and gets me a closer to the finish line. seriously, even a buck helps. the name of my team: sparkle motion.

http://www./gifttool.com/athon/MyFundraisingPage?ID=168&AID=427&PID=41224

i also need the most spectacular cheering section at the regatta, but this is mostly due to my need for people yelling my name and generally praising me. so i hope you can make it out to the regatta, at echo park lake on august 17th at 4pm, to be followed by a concert at the echo.

contact me with any questions! much love!