on this day, the day i leave for thailand, my stomach is in knots. i always have flight anxiety. not because i am afraid the plane will go down, but rather because i don't particularly enjoy being uncomfortable. and the thought of being uncomfortable for almost 20 hours is almost unbearable. the payoff, though, is great, so with a little help from booze and tylenol p.m., i think i'll be o.k.!
i just got off the phone with beth. she was in d.c. at her layover. i cannot believe we will be meeting up on the other side of the world. it makes me feel like the earth is actually very small and to traverse the sphere is no big deal.
i had an amazing sending off party-thanks to anyone who made it out. it was just another barn burner over at the smogcutter, but the crazy love was in high gear. my friends are simply the best, and i take a little moment every day to send out gratitude for them. and for karaoke.
another big thanks to meeno and ilse, who are letting me stay at their guesthouse when i return. i am subletting my place through july, and will be staying at the spectacular skyfarm upon my return to the country. skyfarm was the feature in the 'home' section of the l.a. times this week. do take a look. i will be living in the guesthouse. the one that has the caption "...was once filled with snakes and black widow spiders." no, they are not still there.
i hope to update at some point in my trip, but i am sure no one will blame me if i don't. there will be plenty of stories when i get back. hopefully they will be full of laughter, adventure, and cute australian backpackers...
Saturday, May 24, 2008
Friday, May 16, 2008
one night in bangkok
only one week until i embark on my thailand journey. my friends gave me a pack to take with me. i am usually your typical over packer. how am i supposed to know what i feel like wearing? might as well bring it all. so, going halfway across the world with only a half filled backpack sounds like a damn good idea. nice and liberating. though i can't help but think that the lack of "stuff" and "things" will be hard to get used to. hardly any beauty products (with the exception of deodorant and toothpaste. and lots and lots of spf 60 sunblock), no jeans (too hot), a very large hat, and just one bikini. i plan on buying sarongs over there. i'll need at least one long sleeved shirt and long pants to wear in the temples.
i've been biting my nails, waiting for this stimulation check, only to find out that they will not be issuing it to me until after i depart, in paper form. urgh. this was not the plan. this slight hiccup caused me to partake in one of my least favorite activities, one i haven't had to do in a while: call the folks and ask for money. my family has helped me out numerous times since i moved out here, hell, even before that, and i am most appreciative. but asking for help has never been easy for me. luckily it will be a temporary loan, that is if they can do it. i know that this use of my economic stimulation check is not what bush has in mind (stimulating *another* economy) but, and this may come as a shock, i do not give a flying fuck at the moon what our president thinks i should do with my money.
we're having a hard time deciding which island to visit while over there. ko tao was our first choice, but we have heard rumors of possible "social unrest" that may not be american friendly. ko samui is also on the list, but it is pretty popular and may be crowded. while doing "research" aka drinking at the smogcutter and talking to the staff, all of whom are thai, they suggest going to a couple islands. i figure we can ferry around to the different places and stay at the one that is most our speed. the only fatal flaw in this plan: i tend to get extremely seasick. too much time on a boat does not make me happy.
all in all, not bad problems to have.
come and have a drink with me next wednesday, may 21st at the smogcutter. just a casual sending off get together, a chance to say goodbye just in case i decide to not come back.
Thursday, May 15, 2008
"my god, i deserve a break today."
picture this:
a large conference room, filled with suited yes-men. a giant statue of a red wigged, white faced clown glowers down at these men, as if to say, "i am watching you. make me money, or i will eat your face" (god i hate clowns). it's the corporate headquarters for mcdonald's, and the suits are looking for their next big rip-off after flavored iced coffee, which is for people who hate coffee.
a pimply faced intern brings in sheets upon sheets of paper containing research. research on what america is currently shoving in their faces. research on how mcdonald's can corner that market. somewhere, buried in these stacks of paper, are the words "dwarf house".
for those of you who are not from the south, "dwarf house" was the original name for chick-fil-a, of which there are only a handful in california, where in georgia, you can't throw a cow without hitting one. i assume they changed their name so as not to offend the dwarf community. there are actually still a few in the atlanta area with the name "dwarf house", complete with a tiny door in the front. i would like to say, officially, that not all southerners are oblivious to offensiveness.
"sirs, what about chick-fil-a?" the sweaty intern inquires. "people in the south eat this shit up, and folks in southern california drive 45 minutes just to get one of their sandwiches. what do ya think?" he finished, hoping he would not be admonished for cursing. the clown did not approve of foul language.
(i would like to point out that i had no idea there were chick-fil-a's out here until just recently, so i have never driven 45 minutes to get to one, only heard stories of those who had. just trying to defend myself and not seem like a complete "fat girl". even though i am devoting an entire blog to fried chicken. even though i have considered driving to arizona to go to waffle house.)
and so, mcdonald's finally ripped off the chick-fil-a sandwich. today they are giving away free chicken biscuits and chicken sandwiches at stores all over california (apparently they have been testing the chicken elsewhere). i, of course, had to try it out.
one of the billboards for this new fare says "chicken? for breakfast!?!". this concept is not new to me. if you grew up in georgia, you ate fried chicken all of the time, and didn't question it. chick-fil-a sponsored most school events, and was a staple of families everywhere. in my early high school years, i would go there once a week for young life, a non-denominational christian youth group. we would eat chicken for breakfast and sing songs about jesus.
speaking of jesus, one of people's biggest beefs (no pun intended) with chick-fil-a is that it is closed on sundays. the owner of the business is a southern baptist, which is not the kookiest baptist, but it's up there. there is all kinds of bible-licious things going on in the 'fil-a. much like in-n-out; jesus is in your milkshake.
with my bias firmly in place, i headed over to my friendly neighborhood micky d's. i ordered my obligatory medium drink to get the free biscuit. coffee. they were out of medium cups so they gave me a large bucket o' coffee, which is actually not half bad. the biscuit could not seem to contain the pressure cooked chicken. the original biscuit at chick-fil-a seemed to hold tight to the chicken, almost lovingly. "i won't let go, darlin'." it drawled to the breast. whereas mcdonald's biscuit, like most things californian, was....flaky. it fell apart immediately. plus, an inner voice kept saying, "you are eating mcdonalds." which was a total buzz kill. that being said, the chicken was much tastier than any fast food chicken i'd had before, besides you-know-who.
another detrimental element for mcdonald's: no sweet tea. i have yet to find anywhere in california that serves this panacea. no, you cannot just add a packet of sugar. that's not how it works, and if you think that, i feel sorry for you.
i wish i could say i was going to make it over there for a free lunch, but i really don't think i can deal with the meat sweats today. yes, i'm a southerner, and we eat lots of fried chicken, even in crazy heat and humidity. but i've been in l.a. for almost 7 years now, and i have grown accustomed to their eating habits. so instead of a fried chicken sandwich, i think i'll have a tab and jog around the silverlake reservoir. bon appetite!
a large conference room, filled with suited yes-men. a giant statue of a red wigged, white faced clown glowers down at these men, as if to say, "i am watching you. make me money, or i will eat your face" (god i hate clowns). it's the corporate headquarters for mcdonald's, and the suits are looking for their next big rip-off after flavored iced coffee, which is for people who hate coffee.
a pimply faced intern brings in sheets upon sheets of paper containing research. research on what america is currently shoving in their faces. research on how mcdonald's can corner that market. somewhere, buried in these stacks of paper, are the words "dwarf house".
for those of you who are not from the south, "dwarf house" was the original name for chick-fil-a, of which there are only a handful in california, where in georgia, you can't throw a cow without hitting one. i assume they changed their name so as not to offend the dwarf community. there are actually still a few in the atlanta area with the name "dwarf house", complete with a tiny door in the front. i would like to say, officially, that not all southerners are oblivious to offensiveness.
"sirs, what about chick-fil-a?" the sweaty intern inquires. "people in the south eat this shit up, and folks in southern california drive 45 minutes just to get one of their sandwiches. what do ya think?" he finished, hoping he would not be admonished for cursing. the clown did not approve of foul language.
(i would like to point out that i had no idea there were chick-fil-a's out here until just recently, so i have never driven 45 minutes to get to one, only heard stories of those who had. just trying to defend myself and not seem like a complete "fat girl". even though i am devoting an entire blog to fried chicken. even though i have considered driving to arizona to go to waffle house.)
and so, mcdonald's finally ripped off the chick-fil-a sandwich. today they are giving away free chicken biscuits and chicken sandwiches at stores all over california (apparently they have been testing the chicken elsewhere). i, of course, had to try it out.
one of the billboards for this new fare says "chicken? for breakfast!?!". this concept is not new to me. if you grew up in georgia, you ate fried chicken all of the time, and didn't question it. chick-fil-a sponsored most school events, and was a staple of families everywhere. in my early high school years, i would go there once a week for young life, a non-denominational christian youth group. we would eat chicken for breakfast and sing songs about jesus.
speaking of jesus, one of people's biggest beefs (no pun intended) with chick-fil-a is that it is closed on sundays. the owner of the business is a southern baptist, which is not the kookiest baptist, but it's up there. there is all kinds of bible-licious things going on in the 'fil-a. much like in-n-out; jesus is in your milkshake.
with my bias firmly in place, i headed over to my friendly neighborhood micky d's. i ordered my obligatory medium drink to get the free biscuit. coffee. they were out of medium cups so they gave me a large bucket o' coffee, which is actually not half bad. the biscuit could not seem to contain the pressure cooked chicken. the original biscuit at chick-fil-a seemed to hold tight to the chicken, almost lovingly. "i won't let go, darlin'." it drawled to the breast. whereas mcdonald's biscuit, like most things californian, was....flaky. it fell apart immediately. plus, an inner voice kept saying, "you are eating mcdonalds." which was a total buzz kill. that being said, the chicken was much tastier than any fast food chicken i'd had before, besides you-know-who.
another detrimental element for mcdonald's: no sweet tea. i have yet to find anywhere in california that serves this panacea. no, you cannot just add a packet of sugar. that's not how it works, and if you think that, i feel sorry for you.
i wish i could say i was going to make it over there for a free lunch, but i really don't think i can deal with the meat sweats today. yes, i'm a southerner, and we eat lots of fried chicken, even in crazy heat and humidity. but i've been in l.a. for almost 7 years now, and i have grown accustomed to their eating habits. so instead of a fried chicken sandwich, i think i'll have a tab and jog around the silverlake reservoir. bon appetite!
Saturday, May 10, 2008
so much advice, so little time!
someone pointed me in the direction of an article called "marry him!"
this article was written by a woman who had a child on her own, and is advocating "settling"; marrying a man you aren't that into. she claims that while she decided to have and raise a child alone, she now wishes that she had married one of the guys she dated that, while they may have been really nice and smart, she just didn't feel that "spark" with. she believes the earlier a woman decides to settle, the easier it will be, since we become more and more discriminating as we get older.
sound crazy? though i am totally against this mentality for myself, ms. gottlieb makes a case for women whose goal it is to have a family. she says to look for a business partner, not necessarily lloyd dobler, when trying to find a mate. now, i am pretty sure i don't want to get married, and the jury is out when it comes to children. it will be out for quite a few more years. so when i hear, "so what if you don't really love him? he'll be a great dad.", it makes me a little uneasy.
she goes on to say that a lot of women discriminate on small things, like the habit of yelling "bravo" at a movie theater, height, or unfortunate noses. i guess i would get kind of annoyed at someone yelling "bravo" when the people in the movie clearly cannot hear you, but i am sure there might be plenty of things this mystery guy would have to put up with from me (constantly changing accents, singing the answers to questions instead of saying them, the need for at least 7 pillows in the bed). so i say, as long as it doesn't set your teeth on edge, learn to live with it. as far as the height, noses, etc....again, we are all flawed. many of my friends have laughed at the men i find attractive, saying that i go for the most strange and unconventional looks. any time my friend jenny sees a total nerd, she always points him out to me: "look lauren, he's just your type!" now i have gone out with many different "types", but maybe i tend to go for the more dorky types. in "why smart men marry smart women", referenced in this article, a woman calls men that other women may not recognize as great the 'secrets'. i'm not sure if this is fair or accurate, especially since the whole geek chic thing is very popular right now. and i have never dated anyone just because i thought that no one else would be competing for them.
the article also referenced the infamous "he's just not that into you". i never read this book, but after reading this article, i dug up some material from the book. for those not in the know, this book is pretty much the opposite of the above article. women are supposed to let guys "chase" them and "hunt" them....like prey. apparently, men feel the need to work for the affections of a lady. and if he ain't doing the work, he ain't into you. so, no, you cannot call him-he's got to call you. just sit back and do some knitting. ok, to be fair, the book has an underlying current of 'you are too incredible and fabulous to have to deal with men's bullshit excuses ("i've just been so busy! and my internet is down! and i forgot your name!") so just be fabulous and let the men ask you out'. i get it: don't be distracted by 'getting a man'. focus on you. pretty soon you realize that you are happy doing things yourself and you become uber confident and that confidence attracts men. they show up when you're not looking; total irony.
i also have a married friend who claims that you, as a woman, deserve someone who adores and worships you, perhaps even more than you adore him.
i can't tell you how many times i've been given advice on men. as a single 28 year old woman, many folks just can't wait to tell me what i'm doing wrong: "you're too independent", "you don't make a guy feel needed enough", "you need to turn down your theta" (i believe that last one is from scientology. no shit.) i feel that if i can't just be myself, than what, my friends, is the point?
i seriously wonder if men obsess about being single as much as women do. i have plenty of guy friends, but i can never discern just what is going on inside that manly head of theirs, just like they will never truly understand me. all i know is that i have so many amazing, beautiful, smart and funny girl friends who just can't seem to get a date. and it kills them.
there are way too many dating manuals out there. my friend molly was reading a few of them as research for something she was writing, including one called "why men love bitches". what?!?! are you serious? she instructed me to never, under any circumstance, read this book.
it cracks me up how so many people take these self help books to heart. it's so much like the dieting industry: a new one pops up every few months, and everyone is expected to be on the train. people, just eat right and exercise if you want to be healthy. just be yourself, be kind, live your wonderful life and don't be a complete stalker if you want to find a life partner who wants you just as you are.
this article was written by a woman who had a child on her own, and is advocating "settling"; marrying a man you aren't that into. she claims that while she decided to have and raise a child alone, she now wishes that she had married one of the guys she dated that, while they may have been really nice and smart, she just didn't feel that "spark" with. she believes the earlier a woman decides to settle, the easier it will be, since we become more and more discriminating as we get older.
sound crazy? though i am totally against this mentality for myself, ms. gottlieb makes a case for women whose goal it is to have a family. she says to look for a business partner, not necessarily lloyd dobler, when trying to find a mate. now, i am pretty sure i don't want to get married, and the jury is out when it comes to children. it will be out for quite a few more years. so when i hear, "so what if you don't really love him? he'll be a great dad.", it makes me a little uneasy.
she goes on to say that a lot of women discriminate on small things, like the habit of yelling "bravo" at a movie theater, height, or unfortunate noses. i guess i would get kind of annoyed at someone yelling "bravo" when the people in the movie clearly cannot hear you, but i am sure there might be plenty of things this mystery guy would have to put up with from me (constantly changing accents, singing the answers to questions instead of saying them, the need for at least 7 pillows in the bed). so i say, as long as it doesn't set your teeth on edge, learn to live with it. as far as the height, noses, etc....again, we are all flawed. many of my friends have laughed at the men i find attractive, saying that i go for the most strange and unconventional looks. any time my friend jenny sees a total nerd, she always points him out to me: "look lauren, he's just your type!" now i have gone out with many different "types", but maybe i tend to go for the more dorky types. in "why smart men marry smart women", referenced in this article, a woman calls men that other women may not recognize as great the 'secrets'. i'm not sure if this is fair or accurate, especially since the whole geek chic thing is very popular right now. and i have never dated anyone just because i thought that no one else would be competing for them.
the article also referenced the infamous "he's just not that into you". i never read this book, but after reading this article, i dug up some material from the book. for those not in the know, this book is pretty much the opposite of the above article. women are supposed to let guys "chase" them and "hunt" them....like prey. apparently, men feel the need to work for the affections of a lady. and if he ain't doing the work, he ain't into you. so, no, you cannot call him-he's got to call you. just sit back and do some knitting. ok, to be fair, the book has an underlying current of 'you are too incredible and fabulous to have to deal with men's bullshit excuses ("i've just been so busy! and my internet is down! and i forgot your name!") so just be fabulous and let the men ask you out'. i get it: don't be distracted by 'getting a man'. focus on you. pretty soon you realize that you are happy doing things yourself and you become uber confident and that confidence attracts men. they show up when you're not looking; total irony.
i also have a married friend who claims that you, as a woman, deserve someone who adores and worships you, perhaps even more than you adore him.
i can't tell you how many times i've been given advice on men. as a single 28 year old woman, many folks just can't wait to tell me what i'm doing wrong: "you're too independent", "you don't make a guy feel needed enough", "you need to turn down your theta" (i believe that last one is from scientology. no shit.) i feel that if i can't just be myself, than what, my friends, is the point?
i seriously wonder if men obsess about being single as much as women do. i have plenty of guy friends, but i can never discern just what is going on inside that manly head of theirs, just like they will never truly understand me. all i know is that i have so many amazing, beautiful, smart and funny girl friends who just can't seem to get a date. and it kills them.
there are way too many dating manuals out there. my friend molly was reading a few of them as research for something she was writing, including one called "why men love bitches". what?!?! are you serious? she instructed me to never, under any circumstance, read this book.
it cracks me up how so many people take these self help books to heart. it's so much like the dieting industry: a new one pops up every few months, and everyone is expected to be on the train. people, just eat right and exercise if you want to be healthy. just be yourself, be kind, live your wonderful life and don't be a complete stalker if you want to find a life partner who wants you just as you are.
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